Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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