I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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