I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I just pynch a tree in the face
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
