I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
