I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
