I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
