hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
