I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
How external is "for external use only"?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
