I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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