he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Randomize