Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
