I'm lost and stupid without you.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
