my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
You did what with his pubic hair?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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