So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
