She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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