I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize