It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
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since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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