do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
