somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
