Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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