So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
