I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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