Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
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My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
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Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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