we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
