What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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