The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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