Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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