And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
