Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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