The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
