just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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