I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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