If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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