i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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