I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
high people should be assigned attendants
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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