I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
