just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
