you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
