I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
