but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize