Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize