YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
how drunk are you?
Several
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize