I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
