if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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