with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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