i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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