Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
