We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
