Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
