I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
