I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
