she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
