i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
