this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
