Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
