I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
