My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
