Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
